Curling! It's what that one fat guy in Aberdeen, SK is doing (when he's not sleeping in his camper, hanging out in parking lots in his pyjamas pants, washing his feet in public washroom sinks, or adding dirt to his hairy butt crack).
I threw this rock into the house. The house is the bull's eye.
It combines all my favourite elements of sport - drinking beer, wearing regular clothes, not sweating - and it's all on ice!
Only the youngest, fittest, beer-guttiest will make the team.
You have to get used to the fancy curling lingo. Your equipment is a "broom" and you use the "broom" to "sweep" the ice so that the ice gets "smooth." When you have smooth ice, it makes that heavy round thing, the "rock," go faster. If you want your team mates to sweep faster or harder, you have to yell at them, "Hard! Hard! Fast!" And then when it's time for them to stop going so hard and fast, you yell out, "Whoa, whoa easy there."
Hi! We're here to curl!
Now watch the young amateur throw her rock.
Oh, can't tell which one she is? She's the only non-white person on the ice/in the town.
