キターー！Daiwan cabbage!

Idigoh. Midigy. Gidigod.*

I knew it. And dang it's a hot seller!

Well I'd say we can all sleep easy tonight. Case closed.

*Don't feel stupid if you didn't know that this means "oh my god" in Double English. Know that you are very smart. Double English was the Pig Latin of 2001-2002.

Wapanese Fried Noodle!

Dear Wapanese, 

Here is something special our chef whipped up just for you:

it will give you energy to translate anime episodes!

Honestly, this reads as Wapanese Fried Noodle way before you realize it is bracket Japanese Fried Noodle bracket. Amazing. Hilarious. Also offensive and exclusive. Hello, where is the Weeaboo Fried Noodle? Now that would be more inclusive and maybe better for business... Actually no.

I have not met any Wapanese people yet in the Bush, so I doubt this dish is bringing in any new customers. They should instead make a Wwhite Fried Noodle - the fried noodle dish for white people trying to be white. THEIR RESTAURANT WOULD BE PACKED!!!! Go Wwhite Go!

Revenge of the Cabbage, AKA Do you even care?

Never stop trying, Real Canadian Superstore. I think you're getting closer. Not quite a hot green pepper, but at least you are near some type of Asian-looking greens, complete with plastic bag and red tape closure. I still say a Taiwanese cabbage is a cabbage, Brassica oleraceai. 

F for eFfort and Fail.