ザ・カーリング！Curling!

Curling! It's what that one fat guy in Aberdeen, SK is doing (when he's not sleeping in his camper, hanging out in parking lots in his pyjamas pants, washing his feet in public washroom sinks, or adding dirt to his hairy butt crack). 

I threw this rock into the house. The house is the bull's eye.

It combines all my favourite elements of sport - drinking beer, wearing regular clothes, not sweating - and it's all on ice! 

Only the youngest, fittest, beer-guttiest will make the team.

You have to get used to the fancy curling lingo. Your equipment is a "broom" and you use the "broom" to "sweep" the ice so that the ice gets "smooth." When you have smooth ice, it makes that heavy round thing, the "rock," go faster. If you want your team mates to sweep faster or harder, you have to yell at them, "Hard! Hard! Fast!" And then when it's time for them to stop going so hard and fast, you yell out, "Whoa, whoa easy there."

Hi! We're here to curl!

Now watch the young amateur throw her rock.

Oh, can't tell which one she is? She's the only non-white person on the ice/in the town.

   

Sport: Curling

Final Grade: A++

The taming of the prairies

Grasswood, the name of one of the areas outside the "city."

Where lonely people live on "acreages."

Look a mailbox! Must be getting into town real soon.
That's good because I need to buy a rake, a pound of sugar, and a puffed-sleeve dress at the general store. 

We're in the city! Look, we're driving down Street Boulevard!

Traffic at this 4-way stop is THE WORST. Definitely avoid it during traffic hour.
Well, that's city life for you.

Boomtown Pt 2

The pumpkin is pureed and draining, so now it's time to power through. You won't want to miss the grand finale, so stick with me!

Inbred and bored - is this a realistic portrayal of children at the time?
Now, debate!

Mud house? Oh it's just packed in mud. I'll take it.

A nod to the germaphobe Japanese settlers. Really should be less of a nod and more of a bow with your hands forming a triangle and your forehead touching the ground, though. 

Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Your life is terrible.
And I read inside your mud house that your husband left you for some slutty widow.

Fast forward to 2005 and let's give thanks to your settler ancestors.
Now line up for your BBQ!

Boomtown! Saskaboom? Saskabush!

Boomtown! Saskatoon, 1910.
Saskaboom! Saskatoon, 2009.
Saskabush! A website with no content, or maybe just if you're on chrome. But more importantly, the here and now, 2011.

Yesterday afternoon I took a trip to the Western Development Museum with my roommate. Thanks UBC student card! I got myself $1.75 off the regular admission price.

When you walk into the museum, they've set up a replica of the old Boomtown, probably the way it looked back in 1910, complete with bleached blonde ladies of the night and their portly male patrons. They were all called, "settlers."

it's blurry for your own good

We didn't realize we were coming in on the last day of their Christmas Tree festival, so the place was pretty packed (for Saskatoon), but lucky for us, it meant that with the extended business hours, we would have longer than the anticipated 45 minutes to spend there! We were very glad. At the end of the recreated street, there was a man with an orange tan and heavy stage make-up singing, "O Holy Night" and a woman in a beaded black wrap (AND THAT'S ALL!) using the instrumental breaks in her songs to talk to the audience of 8 senior citizens in 60 fold-up chairs. I didn't take any pictures of the performers though since I'm genuine and welcoming and not rude.

 The museum reminded me a bit of Taiwan Storyland, although obviously, lamer. 

Let's look at some photos!

A smithy! He is a real person. Or, an excellent robot.

In the general store, the local setllers would come to discuss...

Probably how terrible their lives were.

Children ran the post office.

No child labour laws in the days of Dr. Quinn!

Old-timey candies shaped as mice. And LSD. 

The mice look more appetizing if you drop the acid first.

Tinned goods and bananas. Bananas help you plow better.

Medicine including  baby laxatives. Probably just made of bananas.

How exciting! One of the original RCMP, before they were even known as the RCMP!
He's hard at work, about to arrest some outlaw - oh wait, let's read the provided description - 

 

Fair enough.

This, I actually did like. ANNE SHIRLEY COULD HAVE SMASHED
HER SLATE OVER GILBERT BLYTHE'S HEAD IN A CLASSROOM LIKE THIS!

I went inside expecting to see some long braids coming out from underneath round caps and was severely disappointed. All they had was an abacus. Time WASTED.

Not trains, not cars, but TRACTORS! The true heroes of the prairies!

Blogger is making me upset and I'm getting bored so you probably are too. I'm going to go puree a pumpkin now.

Stay off the West Side!

You're no Cookie Kwan/Margaret Wang, Mr. Dave Price.

"Uh, well like, my last name is Price? 

So I named my husband/wife team Team Price?

And then I decided that our slogan would be 'The Price is Right?'

Because my last name is Price? Right?"

Your ad is on the side of a garbage bin, you have clearly stolen your logo word-for-word from an extremely popular and very long-running TV show, and look at yourself. Just look. 

"And then like, I pulled my collar out as far as it would go over my jacket?

And I wish you could see, because like, I'm wearing white socks too? 

To match the shirt? 

But the photographer was all like, 'A head shot is more professional?'"

And Dave, why do you talk like that? It sounds like everything you say is a question. Lower your tone at the end of a statement. Go down, not up. 

In Da Club

Happy Halloween from the Bush! I went to da club, and by da club I mean the one that shares the parking lot with Timmy Ho's. There were a lot of hos and pimps out that night, both sexy and so unsexy it was spooky. Way to capture that Halloween spirit, folks!

"Gosh darn-it I forgot my Halloween costume!"

The Berry Barn

The madre is gone now, but I will continue to post about her visit. As you may have seen on facebook, I took her to a place that advertised itself as the best in Saskatoon hospitality. This place was The Berry Barn. 

A barn! Or is it...

It was on a nice spot by the South Saskatchewan River, and to get there we drove by many farms, other Berry Barn-esque businesses, and the landfill.

"Any open houses in the area?" -Mother Wang

I actually live pretty close to the landfill. Handy if I need to find a bunch of seagulls to lasso to my giant peach!

Larry David

I see this in every parking lot I've been to, which is many here in the bush - black belt parking skills.

Fitting into this tight space must have been hard. 

Bravo, sir!

Classy Shopping

Webster's dictionary defines the word classy as an adjective meaning, "without class." True story.

I have been frequenting some extremely classy retail establishments since moving to the Bush. 

Yesterday, after a hard morning's work, I treated myself with a trip to Giant Tiger, a very classy Canadian chain, to which I had never been before. What a treat!

Canada is known for its giant tigers.

Fluorescent lighting and plastic hangers, my fave!

Then this afternoon I really went all out and went to the king of classy, Walmart.

Good job, Walmart!

interior of Walmart

Yes, Walmart sells "fresh" produce! Yes, I bought 2 Walmart-brand chicken breasts from the meat section! I am living it up and having adventures!

Things I see when I leave my apartment

When I look back at my building, this is what I see. I live on the second floor.

Then I walk towards this, the biggest purchase I have ever made in my life so far. Baller who, baller what!

 Then I get in the car, and dangerously take pictures of the scenery as I drive.

 I think I'm in the prairies...

 It's flat!

The horizon really is a thing!

Bright lights on Broadway

Broadway Ave is the only area outside downtown that features small business storefronts, rather than the large drive-in plazas with chain stores that grace the rest of the city. I love these three blocks.

Check Broadway out on a Sunday evening. It's bumpin'!

First Day in the Bush

Today I went apartment-hunting.

Potential Roommate #1 asked me to refrain from using the living room, and suggested my bedroom closet as a location for Wally the cat's litter box.

Maybe I will try to be more country-style with my doings. For example:

1) Today I talked to three unknown men on the street. It was jolly good! We were best friends for two blocks.

2) I also went to a university football game. It was UBC vs U of S. Go huskies!

3) At subway, the "sandwich artist" dropped the sandwich on the floor. This would never happen in Vancouver! But I just let it slide. That's no problem sweetie, I'll just eat it off the floor. Well... the sandwich she dropped was for the person in front of me. But I still forgave her.