Winter Grillz Part 2: Still Grillin'

Now with REAL MEAT, new and improved!

Now with less hair, winter grillz master griller new and improved!

A place for ribs! Oh and chicken too. Of course, chicken!

Is this what happens when you split from your rib-restaurant business partner? 

How sad. It's not even like Tony Roma's is that great. It's like the knock-offs of mediocre brands like Puma and Fila you find at the night market. "Check out my awesome new Fira sneakers! I'm going to be the coolest kid at school!"

Hey, that's mine.

Perusing through Eastern Market, the local Asian grocery store, over the weekend - in the pickled veg section looking for tsai bo, which is obviously a type of pickled vegetable delicious in omelettes, and I came across a product claiming to be my sauce.

I didn't give you permission to sell this...
Oh, you're a product of China. I see.

Alas, I found no tsai bo. What is tsai bo in Mandarin? If I knew then I could ask the store clerk for help.

キターー！Daiwan cabbage!

Idigoh. Midigy. Gidigod.*

I knew it. And dang it's a hot seller!

Well I'd say we can all sleep easy tonight. Case closed.

*Don't feel stupid if you didn't know that this means "oh my god" in Double English. Know that you are very smart. Double English was the Pig Latin of 2001-2002.

Wapanese Fried Noodle!

Dear Wapanese, 

Here is something special our chef whipped up just for you:

it will give you energy to translate anime episodes!

Honestly, this reads as Wapanese Fried Noodle way before you realize it is bracket Japanese Fried Noodle bracket. Amazing. Hilarious. Also offensive and exclusive. Hello, where is the Weeaboo Fried Noodle? Now that would be more inclusive and maybe better for business... Actually no.

I have not met any Wapanese people yet in the Bush, so I doubt this dish is bringing in any new customers. They should instead make a Wwhite Fried Noodle - the fried noodle dish for white people trying to be white. THEIR RESTAURANT WOULD BE PACKED!!!! Go Wwhite Go!

Revenge of the Cabbage, AKA Do you even care?

Never stop trying, Real Canadian Superstore. I think you're getting closer. Not quite a hot green pepper, but at least you are near some type of Asian-looking greens, complete with plastic bag and red tape closure. I still say a Taiwanese cabbage is a cabbage, Brassica oleraceai. 

F for eFfort and Fail.

Christmas Dollar Grillz y'all

The oven is full but there's still meat to be cooked! What to do? Fire up the grill and get'r done! And no this ain't Christmas in the South - Southern Hemisphere, I mean. This be the North, foo, and dang it's cold!

Don't need no jacket. Don't need no hat. Just my invisible tongs and meat.

So I brought my camera out too late and the meat was already off the grill and grilling tools put away. I didn't realize this until I looked at the picture after I'd taken it and saw that I was being mime-grilled. But you can see the tupperware at the bottom where the meat was being marinated, and that hazy fog? -Why none other than SMOKE FROM THE GRILL! It happened, I swear it did.

Taiwanese Cabbage!

As a member of a frequently mis-and-underrepresented people, I am always excited (and wary) when I see some form of the word "Taiwan" anywhere. But Taiwanese cabbage at superstore in the Bush - nothing wrong with that! Let me at it! 

I don't see it...

Clearly I, or Superstore, or both of us have no idea what a Taiwanese cabbage is. From this display, I would think it was a white carrot, but different from a daikon. Except that I thought a Taiwanese cabbage was a cabbage. Because we eat cabbage all the time. Delicious stewed and salty plain cabbage... mmmm. What's going on? Damn you superstore... this is like when you had the sign for fresh mint over the parsley, and made me furiously dig under everything looking for fresh mint, when clearly there was never any to be had. 

The end.

Merry Christmas!

Food & Fashion

May I present to you a feast for the eyes and body!

Item 1.

Fresh greens, boiled in tap water and seasoned with boiled tap water:

Delicious.

Item 2.

Purple on purple on purple, with a necktie.

Say cheese! 

Sure that's fine too.