キターー！Daiwan cabbage!

Idigoh. Midigy. Gidigod.*

I knew it. And dang it's a hot seller!

Well I'd say we can all sleep easy tonight. Case closed.

*Don't feel stupid if you didn't know that this means "oh my god" in Double English. Know that you are very smart. Double English was the Pig Latin of 2001-2002.

Wapanese Fried Noodle!

Dear Wapanese, 

Here is something special our chef whipped up just for you:

it will give you energy to translate anime episodes!

Honestly, this reads as Wapanese Fried Noodle way before you realize it is bracket Japanese Fried Noodle bracket. Amazing. Hilarious. Also offensive and exclusive. Hello, where is the Weeaboo Fried Noodle? Now that would be more inclusive and maybe better for business... Actually no.

I have not met any Wapanese people yet in the Bush, so I doubt this dish is bringing in any new customers. They should instead make a Wwhite Fried Noodle - the fried noodle dish for white people trying to be white. THEIR RESTAURANT WOULD BE PACKED!!!! Go Wwhite Go!

Revenge of the Cabbage, AKA Do you even care?

Never stop trying, Real Canadian Superstore. I think you're getting closer. Not quite a hot green pepper, but at least you are near some type of Asian-looking greens, complete with plastic bag and red tape closure. I still say a Taiwanese cabbage is a cabbage, Brassica oleraceai. 

F for eFfort and Fail.

Christmas Dollar Grillz y'all

The oven is full but there's still meat to be cooked! What to do? Fire up the grill and get'r done! And no this ain't Christmas in the South - Southern Hemisphere, I mean. This be the North, foo, and dang it's cold!

Don't need no jacket. Don't need no hat. Just my invisible tongs and meat.

So I brought my camera out too late and the meat was already off the grill and grilling tools put away. I didn't realize this until I looked at the picture after I'd taken it and saw that I was being mime-grilled. But you can see the tupperware at the bottom where the meat was being marinated, and that hazy fog? -Why none other than SMOKE FROM THE GRILL! It happened, I swear it did.

So dry.

It's so dry here, the skin on my stomach is dry. Yes, the scaly snakeskin on my shins has migrated to my belly.

Discuss.

Taiwanese Cabbage!

As a member of a frequently mis-and-underrepresented people, I am always excited (and wary) when I see some form of the word "Taiwan" anywhere. But Taiwanese cabbage at superstore in the Bush - nothing wrong with that! Let me at it! 

I don't see it...

Clearly I, or Superstore, or both of us have no idea what a Taiwanese cabbage is. From this display, I would think it was a white carrot, but different from a daikon. Except that I thought a Taiwanese cabbage was a cabbage. Because we eat cabbage all the time. Delicious stewed and salty plain cabbage... mmmm. What's going on? Damn you superstore... this is like when you had the sign for fresh mint over the parsley, and made me furiously dig under everything looking for fresh mint, when clearly there was never any to be had. 

The end.

Merry Christmas!

Cats love Christmas.

"That tree is sparkly."
"I'm smelling you now."

"Look, Simba - everything the light touches is our kingdom."
"Outside scares me."

Oh, hi there. I was just about to explain the circle of life to my friend.

Cats love Christmas. And The Lion King.

Also please notice my effects on the pictures.