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Moose on the loose

Top story! Moose gets tranquilized. No! Meese get tranquilized! Chaos all over!

world-class airport

Creative. Genius. 

Saskabush does not have a very big airport, but I gather from this excellent sign that they are taking the next 2+ years to try to jazz the place up.

Give it a little razzle dazzle. 

Add some Hollywood glamour. 

And most importantly, impress all the international visitors arriving from exotic locales such as Denver, Colorado, and Minneapolis, Minnesota. 

Progress Pete and his informative sign are posted all over the entire airport at two locations!

It's just so excellent that this is the mascot they thought up. Why some confused looking moustachio who can't even make a proper fist? This character is so unnecessary. Why not at least a squirrel in a construction hat? It's cute! It eats nuts! It has a bushy tail and it's holding up a "Work in progress!" sign!

Puppeteering

School kids! Look out for your new "family life" teacher, complete with puppet! 

I'm shy! I put my hand in my pants!

Show me, using the doll, where it hurts on your person.

I'm giggling! Or, I'm smelling myself!

My body's nobody's body but mine

You run your body, 

Let me run mine!

From the desk of the mayor:

City of Saskatoon 2012
Mayor's Report:

Straight from the mouth of the man in charge.

So wild. So free.

Cunning like a fox. But it's a wolf.

Not just for the fronts of Montreal tourist T-shirts anymore.
"A-wooooooo! White Fang!"

ザ・カーリング！Curling!

Curling! It's what that one fat guy in Aberdeen, SK is doing (when he's not sleeping in his camper, hanging out in parking lots in his pyjamas pants, washing his feet in public washroom sinks, or adding dirt to his hairy butt crack). 

I threw this rock into the house. The house is the bull's eye.

It combines all my favourite elements of sport - drinking beer, wearing regular clothes, not sweating - and it's all on ice! 

Only the youngest, fittest, beer-guttiest will make the team.

You have to get used to the fancy curling lingo. Your equipment is a "broom" and you use the "broom" to "sweep" the ice so that the ice gets "smooth." When you have smooth ice, it makes that heavy round thing, the "rock," go faster. If you want your team mates to sweep faster or harder, you have to yell at them, "Hard! Hard! Fast!" And then when it's time for them to stop going so hard and fast, you yell out, "Whoa, whoa easy there."

Hi! We're here to curl!

Now watch the young amateur throw her rock.

Oh, can't tell which one she is? She's the only non-white person on the ice/in the town.

   

Sport: Curling

Final Grade: A++

Winter Grillz Part 2: Still Grillin'

Now with REAL MEAT, new and improved!

Now with less hair, winter grillz master griller new and improved!

a belated Valentine's Day message

A crafty Valentine's Day display on the wall at Saskatoon's (4th) finest Chinese-owned Japanese fine dining establishment caught my eye: 

Very

Every

Day

Enjoyment

Special

which very cleverly spells VEDES - that's right, the plural of VD

A very happy VD to us all! =)

The taming of the prairies

Grasswood, the name of one of the areas outside the "city."

Where lonely people live on "acreages."

Look a mailbox! Must be getting into town real soon.
That's good because I need to buy a rake, a pound of sugar, and a puffed-sleeve dress at the general store. 

We're in the city! Look, we're driving down Street Boulevard!

Traffic at this 4-way stop is THE WORST. Definitely avoid it during traffic hour.
Well, that's city life for you.

A place for ribs! Oh and chicken too. Of course, chicken!

Is this what happens when you split from your rib-restaurant business partner? 

How sad. It's not even like Tony Roma's is that great. It's like the knock-offs of mediocre brands like Puma and Fila you find at the night market. "Check out my awesome new Fira sneakers! I'm going to be the coolest kid at school!"

Hey, that's mine.

Perusing through Eastern Market, the local Asian grocery store, over the weekend - in the pickled veg section looking for tsai bo, which is obviously a type of pickled vegetable delicious in omelettes, and I came across a product claiming to be my sauce.

I didn't give you permission to sell this...
Oh, you're a product of China. I see.

Alas, I found no tsai bo. What is tsai bo in Mandarin? If I knew then I could ask the store clerk for help.

キターー！Daiwan cabbage!

Idigoh. Midigy. Gidigod.*

I knew it. And dang it's a hot seller!

Well I'd say we can all sleep easy tonight. Case closed.

*Don't feel stupid if you didn't know that this means "oh my god" in Double English. Know that you are very smart. Double English was the Pig Latin of 2001-2002.

Wapanese Fried Noodle!

Dear Wapanese, 

Here is something special our chef whipped up just for you:

it will give you energy to translate anime episodes!

Honestly, this reads as Wapanese Fried Noodle way before you realize it is bracket Japanese Fried Noodle bracket. Amazing. Hilarious. Also offensive and exclusive. Hello, where is the Weeaboo Fried Noodle? Now that would be more inclusive and maybe better for business... Actually no.

I have not met any Wapanese people yet in the Bush, so I doubt this dish is bringing in any new customers. They should instead make a Wwhite Fried Noodle - the fried noodle dish for white people trying to be white. THEIR RESTAURANT WOULD BE PACKED!!!! Go Wwhite Go!

Revenge of the Cabbage, AKA Do you even care?

Never stop trying, Real Canadian Superstore. I think you're getting closer. Not quite a hot green pepper, but at least you are near some type of Asian-looking greens, complete with plastic bag and red tape closure. I still say a Taiwanese cabbage is a cabbage, Brassica oleraceai. 

F for eFfort and Fail.